FOR most of us, having a baby is HARD. But not if you are Emily Ratajkowski it seems.
The 29-year-old model and actress has presented a picture-perfect view of pregnancy and new motherhood to the world.
Since giving birth in March to Sylvester Apollo Bear – her son with film producer Sebastian Bear-McClard, 34 – the snaps have come thick and fast.
In the photos, she often wows 27million Instagram followers with her honed figure, smooth skin and abs that could cut glass.
There is not a hint of newborn spit-up, a leaking boob or post-natal overhang in sight.
Nikki Watkins charts a very public journey into parenthood by Emily that might leave other new mums jealously sobbing into their muslins.
BABY ON BOARD
27 OCTOBER, 2020
There was certainly no clumsy pregnancy announcement from the queen of preggo cool.
Emily’s Instagram fans learn of her new arrival with a Vogue cover.
And at 20 weeks, we get treated to a full-frontal nude picture of the bump on her socials.
It is an early sign of the very glamorous, entirely perfect photos that will sum up the pregnancy and well-documented child-rearing. This is an eye-catching start to an eyeroll-worthy pregnancy.
21 JANUARY, 2021
NO shapeless maternity tankini for the remarkable Ms Ratajkowski.
Heavily pregnant, she opts for the most uncomfortable-looking swimsuit in history (for any woman, pregnant or not).
Not only does it have huge swathes cut out, there are strings cutting into her perfectly rotund middle.
Most staggering of all, it has a thong. The thought of this discomfort leaves me begging for the boat’s sick bucket.
4 FEBRUARY, 2021
APPEARING almost full-term, Emily is picture perfect, naked and framed in a bathroom mirror.
Women nearing the end of their pregnancy often have to battle haemorrhoids, swollen faces and stretch marks in places they did not know they had.
But not our Em.
Emily’s words might make women suffering from late-pregnancy morning sickness all the more green as she ponders alongside the snap: “Sometimes I feel like Winnie the Pooh in human form, other times like a fertility goddess with a juicy butt . . . ”
BABY OF MINE
11 MARCH, 2021 (three days after birth)
A PICTURE announcing a baby’s birth is usually a sweet snap of the infant with the mum’s puce, sweaty, exhausted face in the frame.
Emily has other ideas. Alongside a snap of Emily in a hospital room, she writes: “Sylvester Apollo Bear has joined us earth side. Sly arrived 3/8/21 on the most surreal, beautiful and love-filled morning of my life.”
She exudes health, as the sun streams on to her perfectly undone bohemian waves with the blissful expression of the world’s most wholesome earth mother.
It could be a Renaissance painting – not exactly how new mums usually feel in the adrenaline-filled, exhaustion-soaked hours post-labour.
17 MARCH, 2021
GIVING birth is not pretty – unless you are Emily Ratajkowski.
This collage of photographs shows the model during the throes of labour as she documents on her Instagram page: “In between pushes/first moments with Sly. Life!”
Most women find labour feels like a battle between life and death, and often a slightly bloody affair.
But for Emily, it appears to be perfect and dreamily serene, which absolutely no new mother can go with.
31 MARCH, 2021
JUST 23 days after giving birth, Emily is unbuttoning her cardi to show off her set of abs.
Perhaps she puts hours in at the gym, maybe she is genetically blessed.
Either way, the result is mind-boggling. But aside from that is the lurking jealousy of her having left the house carrying only a shoulder bag. Where are the muslins, bibs and nappy bags that come as a package with an infant?
Who knows? It is just another mystery to go alongside those cheesegrater stomach muscles.
4 APRIL, 2021
SOME people are lucky and find breastfeeding easy . . . if they choose to do it. And then there is Emily.
Not only does she seem to be finding what many call the hardest thing they’ve even done a breeze, she is doing it mega-stylishly. There is no sign of a matronly snap-strap vest from Next for her, or of some huge drop-down bra.
She is wearing an unfathomable shorts suit and Sylvester is resting on smooth thighs that Emily has clearly found time to moisturise.
This pampering will be a process that is a million miles from the minds of many new mums – shoved behind those thoughts of buying cream for sore nipples and replacing their breast pads.
5 APRIL, 2021
REMEMBER the 21 days after your new baby was born? No, me neither.
That time is a blur of learning to change a nappy and struggling to drag a comb through your hair.
But three weeks post-birth, superwoman Emily is out for cocktails looking like a goddess with a tremendous cleavage. No leak marks on her chic top.
Most parents would describe her top as being in “danger black” due to its ability to show vomit. But somehow Emily has survived, without a baby-sick splatter in sight.
11 APRIL, 2021
This picture is enough to make you cry.
There is not a mark on her body to even hint that only a month ago she went through the toils of carrying and then delivering a child.
Meghan Markle news: Prince Harry calls for Covid jabs for ‘everyone everywhere’
END OF ERA
Royal news – Harry return for Diana statue in doubt as Will could be last King
DATES BEFORE MATES!
From Taylor & Katy to Ed & Niall — celebs who hooked up with a pal’s ex
I pushed AJ away, says Abbie Quinnen after suffering burns in fireball accident
Abbie Quinnen can’t expose her skin for TWO YEARS after fireball accident
And there is no duvet-thick maternity pad, signs of leaking boobs or swellings from where her body hasn’t quite calmed down yet. Emily has clearly worked hard to look so incredible.
But it is difficult for many new mums to comprehend this, through the hormonal blur, without feeling rubbish because they haven’t “snapped back”.
But is this perfection what we really want? Every one of our stretch marks serves as a memory of that new baby you kept safe in your body.