WITH great length comes great responsibility.
Danish kid’s cartoon John Dillermand – translated to John Willyman – features a hapless hero with a giant appendage.
Willyman – which aired last month on Danish channel DR Ramasjang – sees the character find himself all sorts of unexpected scenarios thanks to his long tackle.
Parents have been up in arms with This Morning host Holly Willoughby claiming the cartoon is “a step too far.”
But campaigners are claiming the show will teach children about body positivity.
Danish presenter Ulla Essendrop said: “It’s a perfect starter to speak with children about curiosity regarding the body – the fact we are all different and not being concerned about what others might think of you.”
And these three well-endowed fellas couldn’t agree more.
From airport pat downs to eye-watering accidents, we speak to three men about the perils of having a long pecker – and what their girlfriends have to say about it.
“My nine inch tackle broke down the middle – it was agony”
OJ Regan, 30, from Bromley, Kent, had an eye watering willy accident when getting steamy with an ex girlfriend.
The men’s mental health campaigner “broke” his nine-inch tackle leaving him in agony.
He said: “Just before the final curtain I felt a searing pain as though my willy had been split down the centre.
“I screeched and grabbed my old fella
“My girlfriend thought I was being dramatic and enjoying myself. I wasn’t!”
“I ended up rushing to the bathroom as blood was coming out.
“I had to run cool water over my willy, pack it in ice cubes and ended up with it covered in plasters.
“My girlfriend offered me her pink ones with flowers and I was having none of that!.
“I was off work for a week and everyone was rolling around with laughter.”
I felt a searing pain – I screeched and grabbed my old fella
The well-endowed campaigner had in fact snapped the small tag of skin on the underside between his main shaft and foreskin during the vigorous session.
He said: “I had in slang terms ‘broken the banjo’
“People think it means I am singing a country song and it doesn’t.”
Recovery took over a month before his member was as good as new.
He says he often gets jealous stares from other men – including once in a pre-lockdown outing to McDonald’s with his current girlfriend Kerry.
OJ said: “A group of blokes were all staring at me.
One finally came up and asked me how many socks I had stuffed in my tight tracksuit pants as they had a bet on.
“When I told them it was real and Kerry backed me up they were shocked.
“They even bought me a burger!”
“I’ll tell our kids about dad’s willy adventures”
Girlfriend Kerry, 25, says she loves that OJ has a sense of humour about his sizeable package – and hopes it will instill body confidence in their two children Frank, one, and Fred, three.
Kerry said: “OJ told me all about his willy adventures and it really broke the ice when we met.
“He is an amazing partner.
“He helps other blokes deal with self-confidence and body issues and his stories get people talking.
“Our sons will be proud of him telling others about his willy adventures because it shows he wants to educate and he is a superhero to them and me.”
“Airport security staff thought my willy was a suspicious package”
Electrician Ben Gold 25, says his eight-inch willy has caused him problems – and he once was told to strip at an airport after customs officials eyed up his suspicious package.
Ben, from Peterborough, Cambs, had just arrived in Ibiza in June 2017 when he was stopped at airport security.
He has changed into his friend’s tight trousers after spilling plane food down his trousers on his flight.
But Spanish airport workers noticed a bulge in his pants that they wanted to investigate.
Ben said: “At customs I was pulled aside, padded down, taken into a side room.
“I ended up in my undies before the security guards realised I wasn’t lying when I told them it was my old fella.
“They couldn’t believe it’s length and called in their mates while I was trying to dress.
“Five grown men patting me on the back was a weird start to a holiday.”
Ben says he is now self conscious of his manhood and tries to stick to loose-fitting trousers.
I ended up in my undies – guards couldn’t believe the length
He added: “I’ve sworn off tight jeans for life not just because they’re painful but because of the customs caper.”
While some might be jealous of a large willy, Ben says having extra inches can add a lot of pressure.
But he says the cartoon Dillermand has helped him laugh at his long appendage.
He said: “People assume having a willy in the top ninety percent of British blokes is a great thing.
“It’s hard in more ways than one.
“Growing up I got teased and girls assumed I was a ‘porn star’ in the making.
“The Danish cartoon has helped me laugh at what I’ve been through.”
“He wanted me to like him for him – not his willy”
Former waitress Hannah Morris, 24, met Ben in June 2016 at a party. They now have one son together – Tom, 18 months.
She says at first Ben was embarrassed by his large size.
Hannah said: “We put off making love because he wanted me to like him for him and not because of what I thought he had ‘down below.’ When we started dating.
“I loved that about him. He also has developed a great sense of humour especially after the customs check incident.
“Having a man who is well endowed is great not just because they are way more considerate in bed, they have a well developed joke mechanism.
“They treat you with extra care in the bedroom. I love that.”
“My willy’s so long I accidentally trapped it in the sock drawer”
Plasterer Craig Munnerley, 42, from Telford, Shrops, says he’s on the willy watch out – after accidentally slamming his ten-incher in a sock drawer.
He said: “I was 20. I ‘d been out on a boozy night and was a little bit drunk.
“After having a shower I went to grab some undies and socks.
“I wasn’t looking and when I slammed the drawer shut my old fella got slammed as well.
“The screams alerted neighbours who even offered to call an ambulance.
“I ended up in bed for twenty four hours with bruised willy and an ice pack.”
Red-faced Craig had to call in sick to work and explain his mishap to bemused bosses.
He said: “I told my boss I’d suffered a willy wallop and manhood mangle injury.
“They thought I had a hangover until they saw me hobbling in the next day.”
I told my boss I’d suffered a willy wallop
Craig says he has struggled with his size in the past – as potential girlfriends have heightened expectations of his bedroom skills.
He said: “I always avoid tight jeans because they always attract a crowd.
“I was the biggest lad in my class and at 14 puberty hit.
“All the lads used to comment about my extremely long willy.
“By the time I hit 18 people assumed that I was super good in bed and women had unreal expectations.”
But Craig wants men to feel tackle-confident no matter what size they are.
He said: “Having a large willy was as normal as a smaller one.
“I believe it’s what you do with it – not its length – that matters.
“Whatever size of willy you have is normal and acceptable.”
“We tackled issue of his size early on in our relationship”
Girlfriend of three months Debbie Adams, 44, says Craig was worried his giant package would turn her off.
Social worker Debbie started dating Craig three months ago and says his size was tackled early on.
She said: “Our relationship is in its early stages however Craig was very open about his manhood size when we met.
“He wasn’t full of himself and very caring.
“He does joke about it but in a very positive way.
“He told me the stories about his escapades and it made me laugh and like him even more.
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“I think many men are scared to date women when they are larger-sized and Craig is quietly confident and fun and made sure I wasn’t worried or concerned.
“He asked me if I had questions or worries.
“If more men were like him that would be amazing.”